Selfless real love

Narayan murthi: My wife called,  'How long will you be with that newspaper? 
Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene.

My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. 

'Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear'.

Sindhu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 

'Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'

'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal.

Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindu, dear, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now.Ok?'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'.

Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. 
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her.

'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand.

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!'

'Never in our family!' My mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!'
'darling, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'
'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. 
Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?'

It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.'

'Are you out of your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.

'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. 

Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. 

Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please wait for me!' 
What struck me was the hairless head of that boy.  'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.

'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' 

Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, 'that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from... leukemia'. 
She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. 

He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. 
He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. 
Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. 
But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!

Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed and then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!'

The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love !!

Positives in Negatives

A young woman was sitting at her dining table, worried about taxes to be paid, house-work to be done and to top it all, her family was coming over for Thanksgiving the next day. She was not feeling very thankful at that time. 

As she turned her gaze sideways, she noticed her young daughter scribbling furiously into her notebook. “My teacher asked us to write a paragraph on “Negative Thanksgiving” for homework today.” said the daughter, “She asked us to write down things that we are thankful for, things that make us feel not so good in the beginning, but turn out to be good after all.” 
With curiosity, the mother peeked into the book. This is what the daughter had written: 

“I’m thankful for Final Exams, because that means school is almost over. I’m thankful for bad-tasting medicine, because it helps me feel better. I’m thankful for waking up to alarm clocks, because it means I’m still alive.”

It then dawned on the mother, that she had a lot of things to be thankful for! 

She thought again… She had to pay taxes but that meant she was fortunate to be employed. She had house-work  to do but that meant she had her own home to live in. She had to cook for her family for Thanksgiving but that meant she had a family with whom she could celebrate. 

Moral: We generally complain about the negative things in life but we fail to look at the positive side of it. What is the positive in your negatives?  Look at the better part of life this day and make it a great day

Why Should We Read Holy books, Even if We Can't Understand A Single Word?

An old American Sikh lived on a farm in the mountains of Eastern Kentucky with his Young Grandson His grandson wanted to be Just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read The Guru Granth Sahib just like you: but I don't understand it, and what I do understand, I forget as soon as I close The Granth Sahib.What good does reading the Granth Sahib do?"

The grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,"Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water." The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house.The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," And sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home.


Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water.
You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. 
The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather, the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, " See Grandpa, it's Useless!"

"So u Think it is Useless?". The old man said, "Look at the Basket."

The boy looked at the BASKET and for the first time realized that the BASKET was different. It had been transformed from a Dirty Old Coal Basket and was now clean, inside and out. "Son, that's what happens when u read Guru Granth Sahib.U Might Not Understand or Remember Everything, But When u Read it, u Will Be Changed, inside and out. “That is the work of Waheguru in our lives"

The Passbook

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya’s mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there’s something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it’s about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I’ve done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.

When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you’ve had. Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home.

They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted

…. and so on…

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn’t talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world…. no more love…

Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Priya talked to her Mother: ‘Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!’

Mother: ‘Sure, girl, that’s no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can’t stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day?
Take out all money and spend it first.You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.’

Priya thought it was true.
So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears.

She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: ‘This is the day I notice how much I’ve loved you through out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.’

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired?

I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter anymore after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.


P.S.: Life is about the moments you create, that u can keep it with you FOREVER. After everything is over, THAT is what we have or what we are left with.
It is Not Important To have Long FriendList On Facebook and Whatsaap ..
.
.
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But It is Important 2 Have atleast 1 Friend Who Can Read your Face As a Book and ask what's up?

Learning To Live Without Recognition Is A Skill

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..
One day, the horse became ill. So he called the veterinarian, who said: "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down."

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave the horse the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said: “Be strong, my friend.
Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!”

On the second day, they again gave the horse the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: "Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three..."
On the third day, they came to give the horse the medicine and the vet said:
"Unfortunately,we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses".

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: "Listen pal, it's now or never!
Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion...!!!"

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let's kill the goat!!!!

The Lesson:
Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

Remember: The title of the this story! 

The (Un)Luckiest man

Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher, began his unlucky streak in 1962 on a train going from Sarajevo to Dubrovnik. The train unexplainably jumped the tracks and fell into an icy river killing 17 passengers. 

Selak managed to swim to shore suffering from hypothermia and a broken arm. A year later while on an airplane, its door flew off and Selak was sucked out of the airplane. The plane crashed and he woke up in a hospital. He’d been found in a haystack. 

Then in 1966, Selak was on a bus that went off the road and into a river. Four people were killed, but he suffered minor injuries. 

In 1970, his car caught on fire and he stopped it and got out just before the whole car blew up. In 1973, Selak was driving another car when a faulty fuel line sprayed gas all over the engine and flames blew through his air vents. His only injury was the loss of most of his hair. 

In ’95 he was hit by a bus, but on sustained minor injuries. Finally in 1996 he was driving on a mountain road when he went around a bend and saw a truck coming right at him. He ran is car through a guardrail and jumped out to watch his car blow up 300 feet below him.

In 2003, Selak bought a lottery ticket for the first time in 40 years at the age of 74. He ended up winning $1 million.

Source - http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frane_Selak

The Transformation through Love

From Wikipedia -

Dashrath Manjhi (1934 – August 17, 2007) was born into a poor labourer family in Gahlour village near Gaya in Bihar, India. He is also known as Mountain Man. Manjhi's wife, Falguni Devi, died due to lack of medical treatment because the nearest town with a doctor was 70 kilometres (43 mi) away from their village in Bihar, India.

Manjhi did not want anyone else to suffer the same fate as his wife, so he carved a path 360-foot-long (110 m) through-cut, 25-foot-deep (7.6 m) in places and 30-foot-wide (9.1 m) to form a road through a mountain in the Gehlour hills, working day and night for 22 years from 1960 to 1982. His feat reduced the distance between the Atri and Wazirganj blocks of the Gaya district from 75 km to 1 km

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dashrath_Manjhi 

Rahul dravid - a true inspiration

Dravid was at the other end when Laxman scored 280 runs (376 run partnership),

He was at the other end when Sehwag scored 300+ against Pak (410 run partnership),

He was at other end when Sehwag scored 319 against SA (268 run partnership),

He was at other end when Sehwag scored 293 against Sri (237 run partnership) in fact India top four, Five individual top score come when Dravid was at the other end.

He scored 95 at Lord's on his debut in 1996. In the same match debutante Ganguly scored 131 and was eclipsed by Ganguly's innings. He scored 145 in 1999 World Cup in England. In the same match Ganguly scored 183. Attention was on Ganguly.

He was the top run-getter in 1999 World Cup. But unfortunately India couldn't make it to the semis. And only few people remember Dravid's 461 runs.

He scored 153 against New Zealand (a world record partnership with Tendulkar). But People talked about Tendulkar's 186.

He scored 180 in 2nd innings after being asked to follow on against mighty Aussies in 2001, but got unnoticed because of Laxman's 281 and Bhajji's hat-trick.

He scored 50 of 22 balls, the second fastest fifty by an Indian in an ODI against New Zealand in 2003. A very unlikely Dravid innings, but in the same match Sachin and Sehwag scored hundred and Dravid’s innings got unnoticed.

He scored 270 at Rawalpindi in 2004, and this is second highest score by an Indian outside India, but highest score by an Indian outside India came in the very same series against Pakistan, Sehwag's 309.

Very few know that India holds the record in consecutive wins while chasing - 17 wins. Out of which 15 wins were captained by Dravid.

TOP 10 PLAYERS WITH MOST CONSECUTIVE ODI INNINGS WITHOUT A DUCK:

1.       Rahul Dravid - 120 INNINGS

2.       Martin Crowe - 119 INNINGS

3.       Kepler Wessels - 105* INNINGS

4.       Javed Miandad - 96 INNINGS

5.       Richie Richardson - 92* INNINGS

6.       Mohammad Yousuf - 92* INNINGS

7.       AB de Villiers - 90 INNINGS

8.       Dean Jones - 88 INNINGS

9.       Michael Hussey - 88 INNINGS

10.   Graham Gooch - 86 INNINGS

Dravid’s last matches all ended in a loss

·         Last ODI-Lost vs Eng

·         Last Test-Lost vs Aus

·         Last T20I-Lost vs Eng

·         Last T20-Lost vs MI

“Not all dreams come true, But if you have a dream, You have to give it your best shot”

His life taught me that you may not be the cynosure of the match but you can be the reason behind it!

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

If you believe!

Pregnant Deer Scenario

Life is full of turn .. never give up never return .. !

THE PREGNANT DEER SCENARIO...

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth to a baby. It finds a remote grass field nearby a river and slowly goes there thinking it would be safe. As she moves slowly, she gets labour pain.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around that area and lightning starts a forest fire. Turning left, she sees a hunter who is aiming an arrow from a distance. As she tries to move towards right, she spots a hungry lion approaching towards her.

What can the pregnant deer do, as she is already under labour pain..?

What do you think will happen..?

Will the deer survive..?

Will it give birth to a fawn..?

Will the fawn survive..?

OR

Will everything be burnt by the forest fire...?

Can the deer go left..? No, the hunter's arrow is pointing at her.

Can she go right...? No, the hungry male lion is approaching her.

Can she move up..? No, there the forest is on fire.

Can she move down..? No, that is where the fierce river is.

Answer: She does nothing. She just focuses on giving birth to a new LIFE..

The sequence of events that happens at that fraction of a second (moment) are as follows:

In a spur of MOMENT, a lightning strikes and blinds the eyes of the hunter...!

At that MOMENT, he releases the arrow missing and zipping past the deer...!

At that MOMENT, the arrow hits and injures the lion badly...!

At that MOMENT, it starts to rain heavily and puts out the forest fire...!

At that next MOMENT, the deer gives birth to a healthy fawn...!

In our life too, there are MOMENTS of CHOICE when we all have to deal with negative thoughts from all sides. Some thoughts are so powerful they overcome us and make us clueless.

Anything can happen in a MOMENT in this life. If you are religious, superstitious, atheist, agnostic or whatever, you can attribute this MOMENT to divine intervention, faith, sudden luck, serendipity, coincidence, karma,

or a simple 'I just don't know'...!

The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply giving birth to a baby, because LIFE IS PRECIOUS...!

In future, may you always be inspired to have a focused positive insight, oblivious of all imaginary, negative probabilities.

"LIFE is Flowing Like a River

With Unexpected TURNS,

May be GOOD,

May be BAD...

Learn to enjoy Each Turn

because, these Turns...

Never RETURN."

Sylvester Stallone's story should be told to everyone ever.

Source : Sylvester Stallone's story should be told to everyone ever.

A love story in pictures

Watch The story of this couple - from happy times to WAR to .....!

 from Happy times to WAR to Happy time again!

The Spotlight Effect

People don't notice you or your screwing up as much as you think they do.

The belief that people are constantly scrutinizing your behavior and the resultant paranoia and self-doubt that arises from it is called the spotlight effect. 

Even if you do something embarrassing, like spilling a drink down your front or falling flat on your face, other people don't notice/criticize you as much as you think they do.

In an experiment conducted by Thomas Gilovich et al, test subjects were made to wear embarrassing T-shirts and asked to estimate how many people giggled about it behind their back (read: noticed that they had an embarrassing T-shirt on). The subjects overestimated the number of people they thought had observed their clothing- their predictions were twice as big as the actual number.

So what can you learn from this? Take a deep breath and look around. You are surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people who are more or less just like you. Nobody is paying specific attention to you, waiting for you to slip up so that they can make fun of you.

Get over it.

This also means that the positive things you do will be forgotten over time, but oh well...the spotlight doesn't shine on any of us no matter what we do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect

From a Quora Post by Varsha Iyer

A story from a Confessions Page

#884 

24th may 2013 was the day which changed my views about life... my room mate at iit had fallen in love in the 3rd year of our college to one of the most chirpy, flamboyant girl of our batch. i had no particular reservations for their relationship other than the fact that they were quite opposites my buddy was shy, intro and she altogether was different and i actually felt that she did not love my friend as much as he did. actually becoz of her nature i thought she took their relationship very lightly. but whatever be my notion both got along well then i got placed in the usa and left while my friend got placed in an mnc in india . we kept in touch for a few months but like it happens usually we got busy in our lives and could not interact much. i took my parents to usa and my links with india got completely cut. now 9 years later i am on an business trip to india i thot of meeting my college friends and contacted many thru fb and likewise. i tried contacting my roomie but met with no responses.when 7, 8 of us met i got this news that my roomie died 5 years ago in the delhi blast at karol bagh. i was shocked and cudnt sink in the fact he was his parents only son and that troubled me more about how those people wud be surviving. so i took his address and went to meet them. when i entered the place(a simple yet utterly beautiful one) i found a group of four 2 old men and 2 old women were having their evening snacks and were smiling, laughing and talking i went on and introduced myself to them they all greeted me with a lot of love and asked me to join in and served me some tea. i took it and was left with no words on how to ask them about how things have been over the years. so i decided to leave and as i was about to rise the gates opened and my friend's gf entered (i thot so these two finally married). she was surprised to see me and welcomed me and asked me to stay over the dinner. after a lot of pestering i agreed and later mustering a lot of courage i asked her so how's life ? to which she smiled and replied good. after a moment silence she continued" we were happy very happy together and were about to get married when it all happened i was devastated but then i looked at these 4 people (his and her parents) and decided that i wud have to move on. i bought a new place brought in all four together and are now living happily." she said when i do sumthing for them i know shubhu smiles and its his happiness that i always want. i asked her how is she managing she said love is not only about his physical presence in my life it is about celebrating togetherness and that we do each day with our parents and i know somewhere he is also around here watching our every move keeping us protected. and then she added wish i had his child. after listening to all this i realised the strenghth of their love and coudnt help envying my friend on how lucky he was to have found this girl who is selflessly busy playing her role in their relation without the society bound order of marriage etc. i cudnt help feeling small at the girl's immense strength and pure love that their relation stands on. i realised how wrong i was in those days. she said she has enough memories to last for a lifetime and said. " log aksar humse humari khushmijaji ka karan pucha karte hai to hum bh palat kat kar kahte hai, huzoor apki aindagi mein yaadein hai par humari to har ek yaad hi jindagi hai" a huge salute to you girl and lots of respect to you. indeed life is beautiful its just the matter of ones view to take the challenges

The Goal

When we have passed beyond knowings, then we shall have Knowledge.
Reason was the helper; Reason is the bar.
When we have passed beyond willings, then we shall have Power. Effort was the helper; Effort is the bar.
When we have passed beyond enjoyings, then we shall have Bliss. Desire was the helper; Desire is the bar.
When we have passed beyond individualising, then we shall be real Persons.
Ego was the helper; Ego is the bar.
When we have passed beyond humanity, then we shall be the Man. The Animal was the helper; the Animal is the bar.
Transform reason into ordered intuition; let all thyself be light. This is thy goal.
Transform effort into an easy and sovereign overflowing of the soul-strength; let all thyself be conscious force. This is thy goal.
Transform enjoying into an even and objectless ecstasy; let all thyself be bliss. This is thy goal.
Transform the divided individual into the world-personality; let all thyself be the divine. This is thy goal.
Transform the Animal into the Driver of the herds; let all thyself be Krishna.
This is thy goal.

- Sri Aurobindo

A Doll And White Rose

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her. I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.”

His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.” Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me.” “I love my mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.


I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” “OK” he said, “I hope I do have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!” Then he looked at me and added, “I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!” “I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” “My mommy loves white roses.”

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving…

Author Unknown

Can you survive on Less than $1 for a Entire Month?

Late last year, two young men decided to live a month of their lives on the income of an average poor Indian. One of them, Tushar, the son of a police officer in Haryana, studied at the University of Pennsylvania and worked for three years as an investment banker in the US and Singapore. The other, Matt, migrated as a teenager to the States with his parents, and studied in MIT. Both decided at different points to return to India, joined the UID Project in Bengaluru, came to share a flat, and became close friends.

The idea suddenly struck them one day. Both had returned to India in the vague hope that they could be of use to their country. But they knew the people of this land so little. Tushar suggested one evening — “Let us try to understand an ‘average Indian', by living on an ‘average income'.” His friend Matt was immediately captured by the idea. They began a journey which would change them forever.

To begin with, what was the average income of an Indian? They calculated that India's Mean National Income was Rs. 4,500 a month, or Rs. 150 a day. Globally people spend about a third of their incomes on rent. Excluding rent, they decided to spend Rs. 100 each a day. They realised that this did not make them poor, only average. Seventy-five per cent Indians live on less than this average.

The young men moved into the tiny apartment of their domestic help, much to her bemusement. What changed for them was that they spent a large part of their day planning and organising their food. Eating out was out of the question; even dhabas were too expensive. Milk and yoghurt were expensive and therefore used sparingly, meat was out of bounds, as were processed food like bread. No ghee or butter, only a little refined oil. Both are passionate cooks with healthy appetites. They found soy nuggets a wonder food — affordable and high on proteins, and worked on many recipes. Parle G biscuits again were cheap: 25 paise for 27 calories! They innovated a dessert of fried banana on biscuits. It was their treat each day.

Restricted life

Living on Rs.100 made the circle of their life much smaller. They found that they could not afford to travel by bus more than five km in a day. If they needed to go further, they could only walk. They could afford electricity only five or six hours a day, therefore sparingly used lights and fans. They needed also to charge their mobiles and computers. One Lifebuoy soap cut into two. They passed by shops, gazing at things they could not buy. They could not afford the movies, and hoped they would not fall ill.

However, the bigger challenge remained. Could they live on Rs. 32, the official poverty line, which had become controversial after India's Planning Commission informed the Supreme Court that this was the poverty line for cities (for villages it was even lower, at Rs. 26 per person per day)?

Harrowing experience

For this, they decided to go to Matt's ancestral village Karucachal in Kerala, and live on Rs. 26. They ate parboiled rice, a tuber and banana and drank black tea: a balanced diet was impossible on the Rs. 18 a day which their briefly adopted ‘poverty' permitted. They found themselves thinking of food the whole day. They walked long distances, and saved money even on soap to wash their clothes. They could not afford communication, by mobile and internet. It would have been a disaster if they fell ill. For the two 26-year-olds, the experience of ‘official poverty' was harrowing.

Yet, when their experiment ended with Deepavali, they wrote to their friends: “Wish we could tell you that we are happy to have our ‘normal' lives back. Wish we could say that our sumptuous celebratory feast two nights ago was as satisfying as we had been hoping for throughout our experiment. It probably was one of the best meals we've ever had, packed with massive amounts of love from our hosts. However, each bite was a sad reminder of the harsh reality that there are 400 million people in our country for whom such a meal will remain a dream for quite some time. That we can move on to our comfortable life, but they remain in the battlefield of survival — a life of tough choices and tall constraints. A life where freedom means little and hunger is plenty...

Plenty of questions

It disturbs us to spend money on most of the things that we now consider excesses. Do we really need that hair product or that branded cologne? Is dining out at expensive restaurants necessary for a happy weekend? At a larger level, do we deserve all the riches we have around us? Is it just plain luck that we were born into circumstances that allowed us to build a life of comfort? What makes the other half any less deserving of many of these material possessions, (which many of us consider essential) or, more importantly, tools for self-development (education) or self-preservation (healthcare)?

We don't know the answers to these questions. But we do know the feeling of guilt that is with us now. Guilt that is compounded by the love and generosity we got from people who live on the other side, despite their tough lives. We may have treated them as strangers all our lives, but they surely didn't treat us as that way...”

So what did these two friends learn from their brief encounter with poverty? That hunger can make you angry. That a food law which guarantees adequate nutrition to all is essential. That poverty does not allow you to realise even modest dreams. And above all — in Matt's words — that empathy is essential for democracy.

From http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/Harsh_Mander/barefoot-the-other-side-of-life/article2882340.ece